Check the Virginia Tech 2009 Solar House LUMENHAUS website.
I am currently helping out on this project.
Great website. Please pass on to those you think will be interested.
LUMENHAUS: a brigther way, everyday
この世の何処にも お前の場所なんて無い
それは今から お前が作るんだ
There is no place for you in this world
You have to make it
by 附田祐斗 from 57th
I don't think i ever made a place for myself in this world...
nor in someone's heart...
even if i did i can't keep it...
life is difficult
made my day -
fortune cookie that mike gave me cuz he got 2:
"You seek to shield those you love and like the role of provider"
Speak Chinese: She loves you "ta ai ni" :)
これほど悲しい思いをしたのは久しぶりだった
あんな小さな会話でこんなに傷つくとは思わなかった
どうしたらいいのかわからない
本当のことを言っても信じてくれない
それほどに俺は、信用されていない
すごく傷ついた
おれは、一度も彼女の事を思ったことはない
そう彼女に言われた．．．
そのはずはない．．．
いつも君のことしか思っていない
君が喜ぶため俺は、頑張ってきた
この三年間ずっと
だけど君はそう思ってくれてない
俺は、どうしたらいい？
親から俺の長所は『優しさ』
他人からも何回か言われた
だけどもう信じられない
自分がわからない
自分のことが理解できない
自分の人生、将来、夢、希望、何もかも迷ってきた
本当にこれでいいのか？
俺が、この二十二年間歩んできた道は正しかったのか？
大きな壁に囲まれたみたいに何したらいいのかわからない．．．
このままだと俺はどうなる？
ストレス、怒り、悲しみ
すべてを自分の中に隠してきた
もう限界に近い．．．
笑顔で隠してきた本当の自分．．．
みんなは、どう俺を見てくれるんだろう？
この俺を見ても逃げないで
どうかいかないで．．．
this has got to be the worst i have felt in a while, probably since my freshmen year at VT when i had to go through this strong medication that lasted for like a month.
im feeling a lot better now, but still have sore throat, headache, muscle ache, etc. etc. just dont have a fever anymore. I dunno how high my temperature was, but I can say that it was atleast 100. my face was burning. during work, i was fine, then all of a sudden i was getting cold. i thought the room temperature wasn't that cold but i was shivering then my fingers started to get numb from the cold. thats not good. then my face started to get hot. left work, got bak home, passed out, and woke up around 5pm today. i was in bed the whole time. didn't feel like moving even if I was awake.
but yea, being sick really does suck. i woke out of my bed cuz i didn't want to stay in bed the whole day. feeling a lot better. hopefully i get fully better soon.
changing the subject, i have been looking on the internet a while ago and found this manga i was reading to become anime. great. its called Alive: the final revolution. the story is weird but very unique. a sci-fi story. go to wikipedia to find out more about the manga. click here
so i was wondering which animation studio will make this anime. hopefully its a good one. then i found out its GONZO. AWESOME. you wanna know why thats great? cuz their work includes:
Basilisk
Samurai 7
Hellsing
Bokurano
Gantz
Black Cat
Afro Samurai
and im also pretty sure the video for Linkin Park's Breaking the Habit was by GONZO too. Also Dream Theater's Forsaken i really wanna see this anime now. manga is really good. hopefully they wont do anything weird to the anime, or cut it off at the weirdest part like all these other animes. they cant cut it off... if they cut it off at the part where i think, its not right... but if they do, they have to do it there, but thats gonna suck. but i have a feeling its gonna be around 24 episodes....
hopefully it comes out soon... they still haven't decided yet. finally just got who the staff and all that is. i wanna watch NOW.
Disgrace
–noun
| 1. | the loss of respect, honor, or esteem; ignominy; shame: the disgrace of criminals. |
| 2. | a person, act, or thing that causes shame, reproach, or dishonor or is dishonorable or shameful. |
| 3. | the state of being out of favor; exclusion from favor, confidence, or trust: courtiers and ministers in disgrace. |
| 4. | to bring or reflect shame or reproach upon: to be disgraced by cowardice. |
| 5. | to dismiss with discredit; put out of grace or favor; rebuke or humiliate: to be disgraced at court. |
I believe some people are a disgrace to human beings. For instance, when I was going back home on the subway, walking up the stairs to the Metro-North Railroad, there was a guy... I don't know if he is acting or not, but it's still wrong in my opinion. He was blind... like the previous blog I wrote, I saw another guy yesterday. However, unlike the other guy I talked last time, this guy had big thick black sunglasses so you can't see his eyes and was hitting people with the walking stick. It seemed as if he was hitting people on purpose. He wasn't even trying to walk. He was rather holding a cup so people can put in coins in there for him when people feel sorry. He just stood there trying to trip people with the cane... "oh sorry, my bad. im blind. i can't see... oops didn't mean to trip you." He just kept doing that to people as they came up. It was weird because once the guy tripped someone, he turned to the guy and sed sorry I'm blind. That seemed suspicious, because the guy was still walking and how can a blind man know where exactly the guy is moving to... Even if you're blind, I don't think it's right to trip people, and hold a cup to get money. He's a shame and a disgrace. He's making all the people who are actually blind and trying their best look bad....
Another person I saw that I really thought should be ashamed of herself is a girl trying to buy tickets at the machine. Right next to the other machine was a guy, who looks homeless and poor. Old ragged clothes and dirty socks. He was holding a cup and was sitting on a milk crate. He was talking to a nice guy who was trying to buy tickets at the machine. Let me call the bum, X because I don't think bum is a right word to use for him. But well, so X was talking to the guy and was leaning forward. All of a sudden, the milk crate tipped over, X flew off from his seat, and X's coins flew everywhere. When that happened, everyone looked at him and see what was going on. On the other hand, that "girl" turned around and started bursting into tears.. LAUGHING. oh my god. I kinda wanted to punch that girl. No one else was laughing except for her. I mean, it might be funny if it was a person you knew, but X was in pain and was about to cry because he lost all his coins. I felt so bad for him. I tried to go over and help him pick up his coins but there was traffic coming and I couldnt go back at all. However, it made me happy... that guy who was talking to the guy helped him get all his money. He helped X pick up the coins. Even the ones on the opposite side of the bar where you can't reach unless you use your metro card and get in. I felt really satisfied with that that someone here still has a heart and sympathy left. The girl... is someone that is typical these days. Someone who laughs at every single misfortune a person encounters. It doesn't feel good when people laugh at you for your misfortune. If something very unlucky happens to that girl and everyone starts pointing and laughing, she would be sad. If you think about it that way, it's not a good thing to laugh at someone's misfortune. Try to think about yourself in that situation. I try to do that these days and I have been seeing things differently. Differently as in the way I look at people, how i observe people, and the reasons for their actions. I am trying to become a much better person than I was back then... How am I doing right now? Not good I bet. lol. But I am trying... good luck to me
Spitz - チェリー (Cherry)
A song from 1996. A very nice song. "with just the sound of 'I love you' it feels like I can become stronger, hugging a small bit of happiness tightly"
安室奈美恵 (Amuro Namie) - Can You Celebrate?
All time, number one song for a wedding. I remember this song was always number one in that category in japan. Listening to the song, melody, and lyrics, I believe that's true. "Can you celebrate? Can yo kiss me tonight? We will love... long, long time." Here's also a cover of this song in korean by Seo Yeon.
Every Little Thing - Time Goes By
A very nice song again from 1998. This was always on top in sales. I think I noticed that I think all these songs I like are mostly based on love, getting separated, or being together. All these songs' lyrics are great, rather than those rap songs in english.... at the same time the lyrics are good, the melody and evrything is good. You need to watch this collaboration in 2007 with Makihara Noriyuki, a guy with a great voice, of the same song.. here.
And this is a new song i found a while ago. From the look of the guy, I thought he will be hip hop or something but... not at all. Hear him sing and you will know why. GREAT song. nice melody, nice lyric. nice voice. NAO - PaperMoon
I haven't written anything on this blog for a while. Around a year now.
Why now you might say I'm starting to write again?
It's just that these days I have all these random thoughts that I think about.
On the Metro-North, on the subway, when I'm sleeping, anywhere.
Since I started working in NYC, I have seen many things that I usually don't see.
Things that I miss out even when i go there so many times.
So from now on, I'll write random thoughts here when i have time.
Random Thoughts #1
Have you ever thought about what you would do if something unfortunate happens to you? I really never thought about it until now. I have kind of thought something about it but didn't really care much about it. So this happened yesterday when I got off work and went to go take the subway at Union Square. I got into the train and was standing there holding on the bar. Then that's when I noticed. The guy next to me standing is blind. He was holding the "blind stick / shooter stick" and his eyes were closed. It looked like he was coming back from work. He had a suit on and had a backpack on. When it was time for him to get out of the train, he got out using the stick, guiding his way up the stairs and to his destination. I've always thought about how hard it can be guiding your way without being able to see. "sight" is a sense that I believe is the most valuable one of them all. Even though the other senses are important, I won't be able to see the wonders of the things that can offer. What really crossed my mind the most is, "wow, he goes to work and can do things by himself." If I was him, I would not be able to do any of that. As someone who is trying to become an architect, the perception of sight is important. The aesthetic pleasure architecture can bring is pleasing, and being able to design those sort of things is important. However, if you can't see, I don't think it's possible however talented you are to produce any work of architecture. If you are a famous architect and lose your sight, your career is over. If you don't have hearing it's still possible to produce architecture. There is a girl in the office that has a hearing problem and due to that can't speak well. She has a hearing aid on, but she still produces great work. So if I ever did lose my sight, my life would be over. There wouldn't be anything left for me to do. On the other hand, these people are impressive. Still living on with their life, finding things that they can do and being able to succeed. Long ago, I remember meeting a person who cannot see also at my church and he is the most intelligent person I have met. I forgot exactly what he does but when I heard his speech I was very impressed with him. That was around 10 yrs ago and I did not mind that much, just thought he is a great man. But now, thinking about all this makes me feel how wonderful all these people are. I wonder when I can turn to be someone wonderful like they are, and have someone of the future generation be able to look up to me.
As a final let me ask you this question like I asked myself:
"What will you do, if you ever lost your sight or any sense that is important to you? Live on? or give up?"
My answer as you read will be to "give up". What's yours?
Songs I really liked in the past that I think you should listen to:
Pool Bit Boys - Sunshine
Produced by Daisuke Asakura, the one who produced TM Revolution and others. This song was in the drama called Monster. They have already split up but they are doing solo here and there.
Field of View - DAN DAN 心魅かれてく (dan dan kokoro hikareteku)
One of my favorite band of all time. This song is actually the opening theme for Dragonball GT. I like their songs a lot. They already split up too. I don't know what each person is doing. I think the vocal is doing solo. His voice is great in my opinion.
Bump of Chicken - 天体観測 (tentai kansoku)
Not a song long ago. Maybe....7 years? or maybe alittle more. Don't remember. Still a great song overall. The band is still going on, but haven't gotten any new thing out for a while.
I think from now on, I would like to provide old songs just for a change. You can see how different japanese music became. I still like the 90s songs, which are these songs... except bump of chicken. But yea. Stay tuned.... if i don't get tired of writing.
i hate my life
as i sed before i thought about those kinda things a lot bak in the day. now i feel the same way again. after having an argument with sisi again, i came up to a conclusion. i hate myself. its not that i hate life, i hate myself. the way i do things, the way i mess up things, the way i cant deal with things right. im an idiot... i dont kno wat to say... im sorry sisi... if u hate me, i dont mind cuz its my fault. all i can do right now is express wat i feel in writing...
『あなたの人生は、失敗しました。リセットしてください』
"You have failed at life. Reset please."
those words...
i remember those from a manga i found on the web by tetsuya tsutsui. called reset. those words from a game will appear in real life and ppl will think its a game and they kill themselves to reset their life. the game is so realistic that they dunno which is wat.
right now, i wish my life was a game, or if myself was a game character. i would reset it, and make a better one. but seems like i cant do that. in real life, u cant change that so easily. how fascinating and complex a human can be.
ill never "reset" myself. unlike wat i thought of long ago. i need to keep living on dealing with this. i cant stop here. watevr happens, i need to accept.
so, watevr u say, ill accept. even if its the worst thing i can think of...
"After all in life, you can start over as many times as you want"
I have been busy lately. work at CVS until closing most of the time. i actually dont mind, cuz i rather be doing something and moving other than sitting on this couch forever, for the 3 months or so of summer break. that is just boring. the good thing is, im getting paid and thatll do good for the allowance and rent money i need so far.
summer is almost over. around 3 weeks left until i go back to tech. cant wait. but before that, i'll be going over to richmond for sisi's birtday! ya-y. planning on going to nova with her to have a joint party of jon's birthday. itll be fun.
other than that, on the days i dont have work, i've been reading... MANGA. AHAHAHA. no actually books. im sorry. i bet my english will get worse and worse if i dont read. meh. ill read when i feel like it. lol.
so far ive read:
One Piece
Hunter x Hunter
Bamboo Blade
Naruto
Bleach
Rurouni Kenshin
Black Cat
I have lots of manga at home. but the most im interested in right now is a manga i found called Bamboo Blade. I forgot how i found this manga. but its a manga about kendo. dont feel like writing the summary but its about the kendo club with only like one person in it. and the teacher kojiro is poor. he makes a deal with his senpai that he'll face against the senpai's girl team for a one year of free sushi. lol. so yea, he tries to find the 5 girls. one girl is like one of the best person, and blah blah blah. i think the goal of the whole manga series is to enter the All Japan Tournament for high schoolers and win it. its actually a good manga in my opinion. genre is like... kendo, school, dream, comedy kinda thing.
i also just found out that they are making an ANIME out of this, scheduled to broadcast in fall of 2007. i want to see it. but i think its very early for them to make an anime this quick tho... itll catch up to the manga so fast that i dont think it can last like 20 or so episodes... we have to see how they do it. maybe theyll make the matches last very long, unlike the manga. lol. and maybe go to some side stories.
english translations to this can be found on nyaatorrents i think. but only up to chapter 24 or something is translated. which kinda sux for ppl. i found the raw of the manga, the 5 volumes thats out right now. hahaha. which is like 40 something chapters. you all should read it maybe. its quite good.
you can see some of the pages ive put up here, and the other pic is a special drawing of the author on her website
P.S. the panda picture talks about her idea of making who the 5th person to be. and she drew this for laughter. it was her FIRST idea. lol. name is nda-hanako. it also says: dream, to become the champion of panda kendo. pretty funny. in the manga, ive seen her drawing some pandas here and there, as a stuffed animal and as a key chain.
Song of the day: ポルノグラフィティ - リンク (porno graffitti - link)
The new song from one of my favorite band of all time. this song sounds like them long time ago. i started to not like the new songs they were coming out with. i liked winding road which was the one before this, but some were getting bad in my opinion. i liked them cuz the vocal has a unique voice from anyone i heard and the sound is different from evryone else. well, listen to them.
